Surviving 67 Torturous Minutes

 REEFER MADNESS (1936)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Yes, I know it has become a cult classic and something of a midnight show staple. I also know the title itself is still used in today's jargon when it comes to the war on drugs. For myself, there are two camps of bad movies: good/bad movies and boring bad movies. "Reefer Madness" falls in the latter category because, unlike say Dwain Esper's "Maniac" from 1934, this movie takes itself seriously but there is not a shred of unintentional humor. A big baby of a bore, if you ask me.

The movie begins in a classroom where the high-school principal talks at a PTA meeting about the deadly effects of marihuana. We see high-school students (who are more likely college-age) succumbing to the drug by attending a dull party at some house where everyone goes for a puff of deadly Mary Jane. This means that we are privy to scenes where a person stares into space like a zombie. We also see how a stressed-out individual combats his condition by smoking more and more Mary Jane and asking for the piano to be played faster and faster! Sometimes, the drug leads to sex (this is probable). There is also a shooting, an innocent pedestrian is run over, dozens of badly edited scenes, mumbling instead of clear dialogue, and so on. I can't imagine anyone taking this propaganda seriously because they would have to be awake to endure it. I nodded off several times.

The moral of this wasteful propaganda piece is that weed leads to violence, reckless driving and suicide. I am sure people still believe that today (or have we not heard of pot therapy groups). All I want is a T-shirt that reads: "I survived the 67 torturous minutes of 'Reefer Madness'."

Not exactly Illicit

 THE SECRET BRIDE (1934)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Despite a quick pace for a drama with a few thrills thrown in, the title for this film is all wrong. Anyone expecting a serious drama with Barbara Stanwyck as a recently married woman and the issues with marriage (not unlike her earlier pre-Code "Illicit") will be a mite disappointed. 

"The Secret Bride" involves Stanwyck trying to keep her marriage to an assistant attorney general (Warren William) secret due to a troubling crime with her father. You see her father is Governor and a bank deposit of ten grand not to mention an alleged suicide and possible bribery...well, it may lead to the filing of Articles of impeachment against the governor! The attorney general's office finds that an incriminating letter found in a safe was typed in the governor's very own computer. Alas, another murder occurs and a saucy secretary, Glenda Farrell, may be implicated. Glenda is played by Hazel Normandie who is the brightest spurt of energy in the whole film.  

The screenplay is hogwash though the actors are hardly banal - it is just them uttering banalities. Nothing in the murder investigation yields much in the way of surprise. Warren William seems ready to burst through the screen with force yet he never gets there as the savvy hubby. Barbara Stanwyck does just fine with her role yet it is the couple I was more interested in than the mediocre plot. You kinda wish there was a rewrite and that Stanwyck and William were given more to do than to be used as pawns in a story we've seen a million times before.

Jane stay with me in jungle

 TARZAN ESCAPES (1936)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The Lord of the Apes has dominated the silver screen for so long that it is easy to forget how good the Johnny Weissmuller flicks were. The Olympic swim athlete giving that Tarzan yell and swinging on vines as he summons the wild animals of Africa still gives me goosebumps. "Tarzan Escapes" is fairly solid and terrific fun with the usual brand of British white villains and African tribal members being pushed around while looking for the legendary Lord of the Apes and sweet Jane herself. 

Jane's cousins, Rita and her brother Eric (Benita Hume and William Henry), are standing to receive an inheritance and they need Jane to come back to England to sign it. The cousins procure help from the reluctant white hunter with a black heart Captain Fry (John Buckler) to lead them to Jane in the deep dangerous jungle where rumors persist of a white gorilla. It is actually Tarzan, who is no white gorilla, and he is happily living with Jane (Maureen O'Sullivan) in a tree-top hideaway with actual running water and a makeshift elevator platform with suspension ropes operated by an elephant! Why would anyone want to give up on this natural paradise for stuffy British mansions? 

"Tarzan Escapes" is lively and very well-paced with the all too typical white hunter who has a murderous bent and want to exhibit Tarzan for his own pleasure. This Fry is deliciously evil and charming, and thinks nothing of shooting tigers and tribal members. Weissmuller is a convincing enough monosyllabic hero who understands and conveys hurt when Jane considers leaving. Maureen O'Sullivan has a startling beauty that makes me wonder who styles her hair and makeup in the thick of the jungle, but never mind. Herbert Mundin is a welcome addition as the naive Rawlins who marvels at Tarzan and sight of the elephants doing Tarzan's bidding. And who can forget more comic relief given by Cheetah!

"Tarzan Escapes" was initially far too violent for test audiences and was reshot in its current releasable form. There is nothing here to scare anyone other than wild animals cavorting with Tarzan, and a sizable mortality count (probably too many deaths from high cliffs could give one pause). The violence overall is fairly mute. A sensual scene between Tarzan and Jane and a flower, as Jane lays on the ground with Tarzan casting a shadow over her, is breathtaking. And it is delicious fun to see Tarzan swinging around the jungle, sometimes with the help of rear-screen projection. An entertaining adventure movie.