The Duke abides in quickie, traditional western

THE LUCKY TEXAN (1934)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

At a brisk 53 minutes, "The Lucky Texan" is a rudimentary western that tells a tale of greed in the days of gold prospecting with humor and panache. It is hardly great filmmaking but it is exuberant in many ways, evoking a forgotten era where you could have fistfights, shootouts and plenty of humor to make up for loss of character depth. Besides, you got the larger-than-life the Duke, Mr. John Wayne himself, in some early 1 hour efforts before he made his bigger splash with "Stagecoach" five years later.

Wayne gives his character Jerry Mason the stalwart, braver-than-thou qualities that would later characterize Wayne as the mythic legend of the cinematic Old West. The fairly slim story has Jerry returning from college to work as a blacksmith with his father's old, gregarious friend Jake 'Grandy' Benson (George 'Gabby' Hayes, in a boisterous performance). They notice a horse's hoof may have come in contact with gold and seek the lake with the lucky strike. Once Jerry and Jake bring gold to be appraised at the assay office, the officers decide they want to strike it rich themselves, framing Jerry for murder and having Jake unknowingly sign his ranch away to them, post-Great Depression era.

"The Lucky Texan" has all the familiar trappings of any B-movie western and would more likely be forgotten had it not been for John Wayne's heroics (including sliding down a water chute to catch up with the bad guys) and George Hayes who even dresses in drag! This is one of the Duke's sixteen Lone Star B-movies before switching to Republic Pictures and eventually John Ford. Worth seeing for historical value and some quick fast-food entertainment, not to mention legendary Yakima Canutt in a small role and serving as stuntman. 

Boost up the morale with invisibility

INVISIBLE AGENT (1942)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Talk about a wildly tonal shift in a series that had no consistent formula, well except for the invisibility factor. "Invisible Agent" is the fourth entry in "The Invisible Man" series and one terminally strange sequel. This one, full of political, anti-Nazi propaganda, follows "The Invisible Woman," a sequel that was apparently more screwball than serious (still unseen by me). As for "Invisible Agent," it is a tremendously entertaining sequel that has a comedic middle that almost wrecks the narrative. Still, for a good B-movie night, you could do worse.

Dr. Jack Griffin's grandson (Jon Hall) works at a New York print shop under a pseudonym. The reason is clear: Griffin's grandson has got the invisibility formula and knows that under the wrong hands, it can be used in a time of war (Griffin's grandfather was in the first "Invisible Man" movie). Naturally, some Nazis show up at the print shop wanting that formula. Violence breaks out and Griffin escapes, almost suffering a near amputation by a paper cutting machine! As for the war effort, well, this is World War II and Griffin goes on a secret mission to Germany where he ingests the formula to be invisible to the Nazis. Only trouble is that Germany is rather cold and the invisibility only works if you have no clothes on (Yep, he is naked throughout this movie). The mission is to retrieve a list of Nazi and Japanese spies working in the U.S. with the help of a coffin-maker (!) and, in one of the film's most surprisingly good performances, Ilona Massey as Maria Sorenson, a German espionage agent who has a few tricks up her sleeve.

I shan't say more because "Invisible Agent" is equal parts comedy, suspense and thriller. The comedy routine during a somewhat tiresome dinner sequence with Gestapo Standartenführer Karl Heiser (J. Edward Bromberg) and Sorenson manifests as something of the slapstick variety that would've been at home in a Marx Brothers movie. Also, one must escape the notion of a Japanese agent working in cahoots with the Nazis played by none other than Peter Lorre, a fine performance in a role that should've been played by an Asian actor (brings up memories of John Wayne playing Genghis Khan and Mickey Rooney in "Breakfast at Tiffany's"). I will be honest - it did not occur to me that Lorre was playing a Japanese agent until his character, well, you will see during the finale.

What works in the movie is the sheer escapism of it all including a bunch of fight scenes with Nazis falling over each other, unable to see the titular character's punches. "Invisible Agent" is also equal parts silly and absurd yet it has the fantastic Cedric Hardwicke as an insidiously evil lieutenant general of the S.S., Stauffer, who has got his hands on that list. Massey is glamorously watchable as Sorenson and Jon Hall, only seen briefly in the opening of the film, has only his disembodied voice to carry us through the movie. It is not at the caliber of Vincent Price or Claude Rains but whose voice is?

Venusian women at your disposal

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO GO TO MARS (1953)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Between the bumbling Lou Costello who always broke the fourth wall and his sidekick, the straight man Bud Abbott who frequently slapped and shouted at Lou, there were few genuinely iconic comedic duos that tickled the funny bone almost every time they were on screen. I say almost because "Abbott and Costello Go to Mars" is one of their weakest comedic outings with far too many lulls and not enough gags. Even a lot of Lou Costello can go a long way in this one.

This time, Lou runs from the cops after smashing a store window with a remote-controlled rocket spaceship. Lou is apparently an orphan at the Hideaway Orphans Home but that is besides the point. During his getaway, he hides in a delivery truck headed for a top secret base where an actual spaceship is about to be launched to Mars. Of course Lou, who is initially mistaken for a scientist in a rather flat comic bit, ends up in the spaceship with Abbott and off they go to Mars after an accidental launch. Naturally, they get nowhere near there as they land back on Earth in New Orleans yet they both think they are in Mars. You see, it is Mardi Gras and everyone is partying in costumes with gigantic walking heads! Eventually, there is another launch with two bank robbers along for the ride. Oh, yes, and they all end up in Venus!

The movie spends an inordinate amount of time in New Orleans, so much so that the film should've been retitled "Abbott and Costello Go to Venus via New Orleans." Not much of that footage made me laugh and the two thieves (Jack Kruschen and Horace McMahon) are about as one-note as the gags. However, once the team arrives in Venus, the film perks up a little and has a little bounce to it with some terrifically eye-popping sets. Venus is populated by women and Lou is having a tough time impressing the Queen of Venus (Mari Blanchard) when all these other women are cavorting with him. Even Abbott enjoys some of the female action. Still, only the last twenty minutes has more laughs than the rest of the film (though some may scoff at the deliberately sexist humor). I can't really dislike a film too much when the spaceship nearly strikes the Statue of Liberty and the Female Icon of Freedom merely kneels to avoid getting hit. "Abbott and Costello Go to Mars" needed more ballsy humor like that. 

Temporary Fountain of Youth Horror Noir Movie

THE LEECH WOMAN (1960)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Watching "The Leech Woman" reminded me of the various B-movies I used to watch on TV on a given weekday afternoon, usually after school. Some titles come to mind like "Legend of Hell House," "Mr. Sardonicus," or "The Creature from the Black Lake." "The Leech Woman" is full of surprises with a twist of tongue-in-cheek added for good measure. It is not terribly well-acted or filmed or fluidly edited, but it isn't meant to be. It is a movie-movie type entertainment with no frills and aimed to throw everything at the audience without regards to whether it will stick or not. The movie is the equivalent of bad wallpaper - it looks good at first but it starts to peel away rather quickly. Naturally, the movie is more than entertaining than watching wallpaper peel from the wall.

An endocrinologist Dr. Paul Talbot (Phillip Terry) is none too surprised that his alcoholic wife, June (Coleen Gray, "The Killing"), wants a divorce. He won't allow it, especially after a 140-year-old African woman named Malla (Estelle Hemsley) tells him that there is a specific orchid pollen from the Nando Tribe that will make any woman young again! The catch is that the doctor and his wife have to travel to Africa to witness this fountain of youth. Dr. Talbot is ready to love his wife all over again when he discovers that she could be the young and lovely woman he married, and could get rid of those wrinkles and single gray hairs (the character is not any older than her mid-30's though maybe any woman's hair might turn white after dealing with that turd of a husband). Though the youthfulness is temporary, there is another catch. The orchid pollen is not enough to complete the transformation; a male has to be sacrificed by having his pineal gland secretions extracted from the back of the neck! A special ring is needed to pierce the neck thus causing imminent death. Of course, June, oblivious at first that she is a test subject, becomes young and lovely (I will not dare say who the male sacrifice is). In fact, she gets a complete makeover (funny how the African woman, Malla, never mentioned that a makeover without the help of QVC would occur. By the way, Malla becomes young again too).

Despite lapses into silliness and moronic stock footage of elephants and hippos underwater coupled with Dr. Talbot and June walking in the jungle to their destination, "The Leech Woman" has an unusual structure that could conceivably be divided into three movies. One is a domestic marriage squabble that evolves into some odd jungle adventure with African tribal dances and the lot (much of it reminded me of "King Kong" or any standard Tarzan adventure) that finally evolves into a noir crime story with June seeking to stay young and luring and trapping men in the path of that glorious piercing ring. The plot doesn't always make sense (can the powder-ring combo make men younger too? And why is this a temporary fountain of youth?) and the jungle footage seems to go on for an eternity. Still, a movie like this is not meant to make much sense or be considered anything other than schlocky art - it is a shambles but so much damn fun to watch that it doesn't matter if the acting and writing are just a bit better than subpar. The movie has a little bit of everything, including dynamite explosions, stirring African tribal dances, mambo music clubs, shriveled-looking women, lots of imbibing of alcohol, a few murders and some abrupt romantic groping and kissing. It is a fervently misanthropic picture that evolves into some sort of twisted feminist statement. Of course, like most of these pictures in the 40's, 50's and 60's, the women suffer the most. 

Beware of Fog Hollow

THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Resembling a diabolical Gothic melodrama more than a survival picture, 1932's
The Most Dangerous Game" is still a stunning, magnetically potent tale of man's inhumanity to man. The inhumanity comes in the form of Russian Count Zaroff who has ideas for his beleaguered guests stranded on his island, and hospitality is not high on that list.

As the film opens, a shipwreck occurs where one survivor, a big game hunter named Bob Rainsford (Joel McCrea), manages to make it safely on a remote Portuguese island. Lo and behold, an isolated Gothic-like mansion owned by Count Zaroff (Leslie Banks) is seen on the horizon, resting on a hill. The menacing guards are not very welcoming yet Zaroff is nothing if not charming yet charmingly devious. He is the type of Count that welcomes one with good food and good wine yet has something up his sleeve - (HINT:  Zaroff  loves to hunt but is growing bored of hunting animals). Other shipwrecked guests are staying with Zaroff (apparently this happens a lot on this island), including a hard-drinking Robert Armstrong and the one and only Fay Wray, playing Armstrong's sister. There is something askew about this place, and it is not just Zaroff's facial scar. There are hungry hunting dogs right outside the entrance. A peculiar trophy room does not contain the heads of animals. I think you can see where this is going.

Zaroff traps his shipwrecked guests, wines and dines them, and then sets them up as his latest sport for hunting and killing. He gives his guests a head start through the thick of the jungle, always with the intention of using their hides to decorate his trophy room. Just beware of Fog Hollow, and steep mountainous crevices.

At a fast-paced 63 minutes from directors Irving Pichel and Ernest B. Schoedsack, "The Most Dangerous Game" is unrelenting and thick with tension. What is most remarkable is how much suspense is accomplished in such an extremely tight running time. And the cardinal rule in this type of survival-of-the-fittest-tale is having not only protagonists you care about (though Fay Wray's character has less to do than in 1933's "King Kong," which was shot simultaneously) but also a deliciously quick-witted, eerily charming, suave villain like Banks' Zaroff (he also played the role on stage, though notes on the Broadway production are vague on which role he played). When Zaroff and Rainsford finally square off against each other, your pulse will quicken and your heart will beat at a buffalo stampeding rate. "The Most Dangerous Game" is a thriller in more ways than one.

Tearing down the walls of this Technicolor farce

HONG KONG (1952)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Hong Kong" should have been a fun, exciting, spirited adventure tale with a rugged hero searching for a golden Buddha statue. Along the way he encounters a Chinese orphan boy and a flaming red-headed teacher and, of course, the statue which he hopes to sell in the Chinese marketplace. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Uninspired and frequently anemic, "Hong Kong" is a bit of a chore to sit through and Ronald Reagan doesn't make it any easier.

The People's Republic of China has formed and many farmers in the mainland are shot to death. A young Chinese orphan named Wei Lin (Danny Chang - all monotonous smiles in this movie) is taken in inadvertently by an ex-G.I. (Ronald Reagan), Jeff Williams. It is on a canoe that Jeff finds the golden statue encrusted with diamonds and various jewels, something that would not sell for less than 100 dollars on the Jewel TV channel. While escaping with kid and statue in tow and a Red Cross Mission teacher, Victoria Evans (Rhonda Fleming), I began to settle in for an old-fashioned adventure yarn. Instead the movie crawls like a snail who drank too much decaf tea. The movie should feel urgent and captivating and it merely slows down and contains episodes that left me cringing and wondering who the expected audience was - people that love "Secret of the Incas" or those that love the antics of "Bedtime for Bonzo"? The orphan follows Jeff in a Hong Kong that looks so artificial and studio-based that I was surprised the cardboard walls did not topple over. The kid follows and follows Jeff, and Jeff tries to leave the kid and can't since the little tyke keeps clinging to him. The kid has a bowl of noodles and Jeff splits. Jeff suddenly has a change of heart, comes back to the restaurant and finds the kid has eaten 3 bowls of noodles! Then there is the forced romance between Jeff and the teacher that is wanting at best. Fleming's Victoria is apparently the kind of woman who can look past a man's indiscretions and lust for gold because the soldier of fortune came back for a Chinese orphan whom they decide to leave in an orphanage at the end anyway. Give me a break.

There is one inspired element in the film, more inspired in hindsight than to the 1952 audiences. When Jeff thinks of splitting with the money he hopes to collect from the antique statue, he reserves passage in the American President Lines ship. How prophetic. 

Your Mother is Lightning!

THE GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN (1942)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

So when the eerie, foreboding and leisurely-paced "Son of Frankenstein" ended, Baron Wolf von Frankenstein (Basil Rathbone) left the village and the eponymous castle after the Monster (Karloff, last time he played the role) was left for dead in a molten sulfur pit. The deformed blacksmith, Ygor (Bela Lugosi) was also left for dead, or was he? Of course not because both Monster and Ygor are back in the chilling, disturbing and quietly absorbing "The Ghost of Frankenstein." It is not a great sequel, not like "Son of Frankenstein" or the greatest of all Universal Horror sequels, "The Bride of Frankenstein," but it has a lot up its sleeve in a running time that just barely passes the one-hour mark.

The villagers are certain that Ygor survived the shots fired by Inspector Krogh (Lionel Atwill) and want the Frankenstein castle destroyed. The villagers manage to do so, with Ygor and the Monster (instantly revitalized) surviving while walking that distant landscape to another village (they of course walk across a fog-filled cemetery as their getaway - how many acres are those cemeteries anyway?) Apparently, another son of Frankenstein, Ludwig Frankenstein (Sir Cedric Hardwicke, extremely effective), a noted brain surgeon and mental health expert, can help Ygor to strengthen the Monster by "harnessing electricity" to its body. Ludwig has no interest in making the Monster more powerful - he wants to take it apart and destroy it. When another doctor is killed on the premises, Ludwig suggests using the slain doctor's brain to replace the criminal one in the Monster. It is a stunning medical procedure the good doctor has perfected except Ygor wants his brain inside the Monster so he can walk without a broken neck and possibly rule the world and men's minds! Never mind the fact that the Monster has green skin and a bolted neck and the fact that nobody would take such a being seriously, especially if he read from "Mein Kampf." Dr. Frankenstein has no interest in helping the deformed Ygor but it doesn't mean Ygor can't persuade Dr. Bohmer (played by Lionel Atwill, just to confuse the rest of you), a jealous assistant who was once Ludwig's teacher.

"Ghost of Frankenstein" establishes that Dr. Henry Frankenstein, the creator of the Monster, sired not one but two sons. In fact, Sir Cedric Hardwicke plays the father as a ghostly apparition that tries to convince Ludwig not to switch the Monster's brains. The timeline is not clear either but it never has been clear in the entire Frankenstein series. Is it the turn of the century meaning early 1900's or later? Everyone rides in a carriage or on horseback. There are no phones here so one may presume Bell technology has not found its way into the fictional Eastern European village of Vasaria.

Lon Chaney, Jr. is underwhelming at best as the Monster but it is hardly the worst performance one will find - there is some measure of emotional heft from Chaney that Glenn Strange in later sequels never quite mustered but both are no match for Boris Karloff. Bela Lugosi is a scary, witless creature once again and when we hear the climactic moment of the Monster speaking with Lugosi's accent, it chills the bone. Also worth mentioning is Evelyn Ankers, as Ludwig Frankenstein's curious daughter, and Ralph Bellamy as a town prosecutor and both also played a couple a year earlier in "The Wolf Man" (which also featured Chaney). The stunning last shot of two of them observing the Frankenstein mansion in a fiery explosion as they walk away to an uncertain future is more poetic than any other Frankenstein sequel.

At 1 hour and 7 minutes, "Ghost of Frankenstein" packs in the crude thrills, carriage chases, the brief touches of humanity, and haunting moments with the classic spooky black-and-white cinematography of foggy landscapes to add luster to it all. It is not quite on par with the first three "Frankenstein" pictures but who cares? For a Saturday evening of pure Universal Horror bliss, it is solid entertainment.